Recently, I began to develop a fear that I would suddenly doubt God’s existence. So, I started habitually praying that God would give me the grace to always believe that He exists. One day, as I prayed this prayer for the umpteenth time, God told me this prayer was “milk.”
“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.” (Hebrews 5:12-13 NIV)
God was telling me it’s time to move past this fear. If I keep thinking I’m going to doubt His existence, I’m only being sustained by milk and not solid food. How can I study the original Greek and Hebrew words in the Bible to gain a deeper understanding one day, and pray I never doubt His presence the next day? That’s like studying a complex math problem one day, and making sure I know one plus one equals two the next day. At some point, my belief in God has to be as permanent as knowing the sky is blue. If we build our foundation on Him (Matthew 7:24-27), His grace will endure and sustain our faith.
“Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.” (Hebrews 6:1-2)
If you’re like me, and have a fear of backsliding or doubting God exists or will continue to exist, pray about it. Without a doubt, God will bring clarity to your life in a way specific to you.